Patterns

Yesterday the oddest experience (a movie of all things…) brought to the forefront of my mind several habits that have crept into my life lately that have not been the healthiest.

The past several months, since January actually, have been busy busy busy, hectic at times, stressful, full of ups and downs, and very demanding of my time and attention on things that sometimes aren’t so fun.  Most of it stems from my co-worker being out for almost two and a half months and me having to step it up x10 at school with lessons, materials, taking care of subs, extra duties and necessities.  Oh yeah, and I was doing OM most days after school.  I had full weeks and full weekends.  Sunday was a lovely “day off”.  With all of that going on and being pulled in a hundred different directions, I can see how easy it would have been for the enemy to seek out my “weak spots” and exploit them.

Things are finally starting to slow down a bit and I’m having time to reflect and think back and some of it, even the little things are just bothering me to no end and I’ll think, “I can’t believe I did that.”  The beginning of the school year was so phenomenal and then January came and mid-February things started going roller coaster on me.  At this point, I’m so ready for the year to be over because I looking back I know things haven’t been up to 100% at times.  I’m not saying it was awful, I did a horrible job, and maybe I’m being too hard on myself.  I don’t know.

Anyway, I’m reminded of sermons about how the enemy will seek out those weak spots in our lives and that “new levels bring new devils”.   This week’s sermon couldn’t have been more timely.  It was about how we are all artists and that God wants us to use our lives and our talents to create a masterpiece by seeking out the opportunities He has in mind for us instead of chasing those things that He never intended for us.  I know I am guilty of that (bad part of being a perfectionist maybe) and lately that may have been my MO.

Yesterday’s incident was an additional wake up call and going forward I’m leaving those habits behind, seeking out how I can best be used by God each day instead of how I think I should be used.

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