I was recently looking through an old notebook from college. Adolescent Psych and Statistics. Some amusing quotes from professors in the margins (“We can all sleep well at night knowing that the Foo Fighters are out there fighting foo.”) and I found an old mad lib my college roommate Jackie and I wrote while en route to New England during one Spring break. This was a common occurrence as we tended to be verbose individuals who had a flair for writing and the creative. We made up a ridiculously long mad lib story. I’d write a page and leave blanks for verbs, adverbs, adjectives, nouns, exclamations, places, etc. and then use the words she gave me to fill in the blanks. Then she’d do the same for the next page she wrote. The story is entertaining, long-ish, and absolutely ridiculous. It makes sense…sometimes. Check it out. It’s like some kind of strange, messed up fantasy story or a really odd nightmare.
Note: Please bear in mind we were inspired by our childhood, musicals, certain movies (Princess Bride, Veggie Tales, etc.) and Muppets at the time. hahaha.
|Latoya’s Bright Adventure
One day Latoya Jackson decided to go on a vacation to the moon. In preparing for this, she went out and bought a porcelain garage. The next day Latoya set out on her formal adventure with her only companion, an ogre. Susanna, the ambidextrous animal, forcefully became annoyed with Latoya in less time than it takes to say “Drat!“. So it tried to misplace Latoya and they veered off the worm hole. Susanna then let out a beep and slid and Latoya was no more. “Great Scott!“, Susanna proclaimed.Susanna scarcely began to chase. She had restored Latoya, but she never intended to skip her. Now she was dark. After a brief period of washing, Susanna neglectfully set out to leap the moon on her own. As soon as she stuck, she dragged knowingly. But she was out of whoppers, her sole source of energy. Thinking all was lost, she smashed sparsely. Suddenly, a minotaur appeared and replacedSusanna.
The fortunate minotaur revealed around her. “What the heck is that?“, Dora the minotaur questioned. Positively a fairy cut. “You are wrong.“, it declared. Dora grew. The proportionate fairy moved toward Dora. Dora blugeoned and proclaimed, “I’m free!” “I’m Jon Bon Jovi.”, the fairy said. “Welcome to Fur Coat # 48.” Suddenly arctic music came on and fertile groundhogs began slinking. Dora was flipped.
Dora misjudged woefully as the groundhogs tap danced, while Jon Bon Jovi the fairy destroyed about following. Dora questioningly began to construct as they worked their spell. With a tasty screech, Dora fell into a trance. Jon Bon Jovi fell barely while the groundhogs carried her away on their ear lobes. When she awoke, she found herself in a triangular throne room. To her surprise, Susanna and Latoya were throwing beside her. She started to swallow, but realized she couldn’t fly. “As you wish.”, she thought. Just then, a flock of kangaroos withdrew into the room.
As the forceful kangaroos entered the room, “All You Need is Love” began to forewarn from the lamp posts in the corner. Dora was forked…again. Jon Bon Jovi the fairy began to hang particularly. “Love is all you need.”, he said to Dora. Meanwhile Susanna and Latoya had stopped their slippery game of throwing. They had now joined the tinkering kangagoos and groundhogs in their sleepy tap dance. Dora thought this was persnickity. By now Jon Bon Jovi the fairy was practicing about above everyone singing to “All You Need is Love”. It was a predictable sight. Dora couldn’t contain her perplexed feelings anymore…she began to settle stupidly.
Dora cried out, “The frog is stayin’!” before scooping to the floor. Just as she was about to chew her ecstasy for Jon Bon Jovi the fairy, a bongo was rhymed. A pencil opened and an earl entered. All but Dora groaned before the earl. When the earl noticed this, he tore Dora. Dora began to drop. Unable to interrupt this, Jon Bon Jovi yelled, “Break a fortune cookie!” and flew timidly around the earl’s fingertip. The lamp posts shouted and taught before finally playing “Random Song“. Dora gazed into Jon Bon Jovi the fairy’s kidneys. Time seemed twisted until the earl shook his foot and closed.
Jon Bon Jovi princely punctured over to where Dora was. With his forlorn powers, he stopped her and said, “By George I think she’s got it.” and Dora was no longer torn. Upon seeing all of this, the kangaroos and ground hogs plink in unison. After much pomp and build, Jon Bon Jovi the fairy quickly cornered Bernadette Peters, the twittering venus fly trap. Bernadette Peters got up on the ottoman and began to cry out, “Stop that man!” All armpits were on Bernadette Peters. Dora, now whole, shone stately. Out of nowhere, the pencil polished over to Bernadette Peters the venus fly trap. The crimson pencil began to turn around on the bongo. All creatures including Bernadette Peters turned their kneecaps north by northwest to Jon Bon Jovi. He vanished angerly and whimpered, “She blinded me with science.” “Fur Coat # 48 is prickly“, Dora thought. Jon Bon Jovi then fluttered fairy dust on Dora the minotaur and she began to jostle.
As Dora’s jostling grew enlightening, a light bulb fell over the crowd. They began to chant, “You can’t take no for an answer.” Dora quietly was sang from the floor until her hippocampus fainted the orange. Jon Bon Jovi picked up at her. As the chanting grew awesomer, Dora’s sock fell off, revealing that she was a diagonal moose. Jon Bon Jovi crudely touched the mirror. He couldn’t believe his elbow. He had never felt such delight before. He directed her absent-mindedly. Dora carefully shifted. Suddenly, the earl proclaimed, “Geronimo!” Then he caught Dora and signed with her into the crimson pencil. Though Jon Bon Jovi flew seemingly, he was too disdainful. He sauntered the pencil just as it was watching.
Jon Bon Jovi went over to the remembering pencil. He looked at it and felt jealousy. While staring at it, he suddenly burst out painting, “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head“. “I’m free of what’s worryin’ me.” The pencil would not roast. Marooned, Jon Bon Jovi the fairly called for Susanna the ogre. “Yikes! Stripes!”, he shouted at her. Susanna then swang up the abnormal pencil and ridiculously chronicled it at the sparkling mirror. The pencil transported the mirror and disappeared. “I would not say such things if I were you“, Jon Bon Jovi said as he halted towards the mirror. He too disappeared. All of the repetitive creatures were enraged. Then they faintly climbed at the mirror. Then all was stony in the triangular throne room. Jon Bon Jovi found the long crimson pencil under the bed in a cold valley he did not know.
Jon Bon Jovi the fairy touched around coarsely. The crimson pencil, which was now the size of a zipper, scrambled on his clavicle. Looking at it, he said, “C is for cookie.” Carelessly, the pencil clicked, and Dora came out. “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?!”, she said as she crept at Jon Bon Jovi the fairy. The earl could be heard sprinting inside the pencil. Jon Bon Jovi the fairy loosely threw it into a nearby dead sea. Dora was glow-in-the-dark.
The stony pencil came blinking out of the waters and began scrambling Jon Bon Jovi’s ripped clavicle again. Bernadette Peters the venus fly trap got tired of the pencil’s forgetful scrambling and since it was the size of a zipper, she wanted at it and it was no more. “That’s not cheese.”, she said, after everyone looked at her ferociously. Latoya, the poignant human of the floral group, began to fall. She had not been heard from in 57 decades. Everyone and everything turned their eardrums to her. “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.”, Jon Bon Jovi said to her. Just then a torrid boing echoed in the valley.
The group hit simultaneously at the noise. Everyone was filled with regret. “Oh where is my hairbrush?”, said Dora to Jon Bon Jovi. He agreed and wrote off into the prairie. After travelling for 3.14 minutes, he found a unicorn who had obviously made the boing. Without so much as a bang, Jon Bon Jovi drew his spear and shook the unicorn. “Ouch!”, cried the harsh unicorn, “These are not my pants.” Jon Bon Jovi looked forcefully at the unicorn before turning it’s nose off.
Dora and the other creatures heard and perhaps felt the twitter-patted shaking. They began to talk in the retarded direction of the shaking. In 3.14 minutes they too arrived to see the sight of a jewelled Jon Bon Jovi frantically shaking a unicorn. “Oh what a beautiful morning.”, he said to them, for this was where the fiery torrid boing had come from. The always vicious Bernadette Peters the venus fly trap took this opportunity to use her brand spankin’ new clipping skills and electricuted out “Stop In the Name of Love“. The groundhogs and kangaroos became flowered with the music and began to dance the square dance. Even shimmering Susanna couldn’t deny the ridiculous music and was doing the square dance. Dora thought, “Oh dear.”
She had never seen so much fence in all her life. Her promiscuous friend Jon Bon Jovi was the only other one not dancing. She deciphered sharply at him and said, “How do you do, your honor?” Smoothly, the music changed to an electric slide and they became lost in their own little tropical forest. As they danced, the sun became as big as a pipe. The others became red at this, but Jon Bon Jovi and Dora just kept dancing. “Ah young excitement.”, said Bernadette Peters. After 4 seconds, the music stopped and the group finally bounced out of the prairie until they came to a tundra. The tundra looked bare, but they were all avid, so they continued.
As they continued to bounce, Susanna’s garden rang. Clunk it went. While Susanna answered her garden, everyone kept bouncing along. After finishing her conversation she forgave, “Oh by gosh by golly! That was Dave Matthews! He wanted to travel us that the eternal earl is back!” Everyone flipped. “Forget about the baby“, Bernadette Peters said and she stopped clipping. “Who goes there?”, asked Dora. “We’re off to see the wizard!”, said a dispairing Jon Bon Jovi. So they continued on their malicious journey to who knows where. “We will continue on to atlas # 758.”